I have learned what feeds my soul

and how to control my mind.

With that, I possess my own heart.

No one else has ever worked harder for it.

No one else has ever understood the complex signals,

and no one else has ever deserved the oxygen

or the blood pumped through.

 

I allowed both my mind and heart to be broken down,

little by little,

enduring many chest pains, and migraines,

while I studied each piece

relentlessly,

because they both grew to be too big

for the self,

the world.

 

I lost them both a couple of times,

carelessly leaving them in the wrong hands,

comparing them to others’ empty vessels

that have malfuctioned,

or are not quite fully grown just yet,

like a premi with ventilators

that try so hard to make babies live on their own.

.

 

Too many times, I considered

throwing both my heart and mind away;

my biggest vice,

my most important virtue,

but the fact is,

I can live with them

but I can’t live with out them.

 

 

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